A CALL FOR COMPASSION THAT LASTS
Words That Wound, Words That Heal
What Not to Say to Grieving Parents and What to Say Instead.
By Ryan K. Brown, Jr.
Foreword by David Fleming, Author of Noah's Rainbow
PAPERBACK | $15.99 | 80 PAGES
RELEASED JULY 2026
ISBN 979-8-9970486-0-0
A portion of the author's proceeds supports The Andreas Foundation and families impacted by neonatal encephalopathy and infant loss.
ABOUT THE BOOK
When a child dies, people want to help. They want to comfort. They want to say the right thing.
Too often, they don't.
Words That Wound, Words That Heal explores the phrases bereaved parents hear most often after the loss of a child, why those words can cause unintended harm and what to say instead.
Drawing from his own experience as a bereaved father, conversations with other grieving families, clinical insight and research, Ryan K. Brown, Jr. looks at the gap between good intentions and their impact. The book does not assign blame. It offers understanding, practical guidance and thoughtful alternatives for anyone who wants to support a grieving parent.
This is not a book about avoiding grief. It is a book about showing up for it.
“There is no greater gift for bereaved parents than to be understood.”
David Fleming, Author of Noah's Rainbow.
WHAT YOU'LL FIND INSIDE
Part Two of the book walks through the phrases grieving parents hear again and again, drawn from the lived experience of parents across every kind of loss.
Here are a few:
Instead of: "At least you are young. You can have more children."
Try: "I am sorry you lost “[child's name]”. There are no words."
Instead of: "At least you had time with him."
Try: "I'm glad you had that time with him and I so sorry you didn’t get more."
Instead of: "Everything happens for a reason."
Try: "I don’t have an explanation for this. I just know it is unbearable and I'm so sorry."
The book also explores:
The phrases bereaved parents hear most and why they hurt
Compassionate alternatives you can actually use
The science behind grief and the emotional push and pull of loss
Why grief doesn't follow a timeline and what happens when others expect it to.
WHO THIS BOOK IS FOR
This book addresses loss across the full spectrum: miscarriage, ectopic pregnancy, stillbirth, neonatal death and infant loss. It also speaks to the grief of infertility.
Family and friends of someone who has lost a baby and wants to help but is afraid of saying the wrong thing
Bereaved parents looking for language that reflects what they actually feel
Healthcare providers and counselors who support families through pregnancy and infant loss
Faith leaders and chaplains walking alongside grieving families
Anyone who has ever gone quiet around grief because they did not know what to say
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Ryan K. Brown, Jr. is a bereaved father, advocate and U.S. Navy veteran whose life was permanently changed by the loss of his firstborn son, Andreas Darius Brown, to neonatal encephalopathy.
He founded The Andreas Foundation to support families facing the same diagnosis and loss through funded grief services, advocacy and research.
Ryan speaks and writes as a father first. Everything he has built since Andreas died has been built for him.
"After Andreas died, we learned that grief does not end when you leave the hospital. People care and they want to help, but often they simply do not know what to say or what a grieving family needs. We want families to know they have not been forgotten.”
BRING THIS BOOK TO YOUR ORGANIZATION
Words That Wound, Words That Heal is a practical resource for hospitals, NICUs, bereavement programs, faith communities and support groups.
Bulk orders are available for staff training, family care packages and group study.
SPEAKING & MEDIA
Ryan K. Brown, Jr. is available for speaking engagements, panel discussions, podcast interviews, media interviews and community events focused on grief, child loss, advocacy and compassionate communication.
As a bereaved father and founder of The Andreas Foundation, Ryan brings lived experience and a deeply personal perspective to conversations that are often hard to begin.
Part of a Larger Mission.
Words That Wound, Words That Heal is one part of the work of The Andreas Foundation.
Iman
Ryan
IN HONOR OF ANDREAS
Founded by Ryan K. Brown, Jr. and Iman McDonnagh-Brown following the loss of their son, Andreas Darius Brown, the Foundation supports families affected by neonatal encephalopathy and pregnancy and infant loss through education, advocacy, research and community support.
Every purchase helps. A portion of the author's proceeds supports this work.
